the mistakes I made was I yelled at his Female assistant, when I drunk on my birthday. I didn’t remember any of the event cause I was so drunk, I only remembered that I vomit before I passed out.The next morning he became cold and distance and kicked me out from the apartment we rented, his PA told me that he needs to go to Singapore to attend a meeting and I better leave cause they want to finish some work before going to the airport.at first I complained cause he promised to stay with me at least for a week but he told me that he is also shocked with the change of schedule and asked me to leave soon.
I am 35 yo dating the 40 yo successful guy, He’a a succesful Physician Assistant in SF, divorced and has 1 son.
I also come from a highly respectable Indonesian famil y We’ve been in 10 months of long distance before he decided to come to visit me on July 16, my birthday.
He never mentioned before that he’s taking his female PA with him even though he told me that after visiting me he’s going to go to Singapore for a medical conference. everything was beautiful until I got drunk and I felt that his female PA touched me.
He cancels plans, he goes MIA for days at a time, he acts distant.
At the root of it, the same sense of insecurity that made the guy obsessed with finding out if you like him is now scaring him into thinking that you’re going to “take his freedom away.” Generally speaking, most guys have a fear of being “trapped” in a relationship, but in this particular scenario you’re dealing with a guy who’s actions are especially dictated by avoiding unpleasant situations as a primary motivator.
If you start getting on his case (“Why didn’t you call? ”, etc.) he will feel trapped and suffocated and start pulling away. This isn’t to “let the guy off the hook” or passively accept a situation.The benefits are that you don’t end up inadvertently making the situation worse and, without negative emotions clouding your view, you can look at the situation with clarity and peace.Well at this point, the guy realizes that you really like him, he has you, and he’s no longer worried that he could lose you to another guy.At this point, things are probably starting to get comfortable- you make plans regularly, you’re in contact more frequently, and a relationship seems just around the corner.Now while you might start getting really excited by this prospect, this particular guy has probably gotten freaked out.At this point, he’s afraid that everything he said in the beginning has led you to believe that you guys are a couple and he starts acting in a way that shows you this is not the case.