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“Good night, sweet Angel,” he texts you, just before you turn off your phone for the night. This may be due to the fact that so many more people today are using dating sites, social networks and various online forums to meet and interact with new people.

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In my college days, many moons ago, I perfected the art of meeting girls online.

Of course, back then, “online” consisted of IRC chat rooms on the IBM Mainframe that connected together the University systems across the state, as well as the online email and electronic bulletin board system that all of the college students used to stay connected to one another. I was painfully shy when meeting new people – bordering on some kind of clinical social anxiety disorder, I’m sure.

However, I found when I introduced myself to a girl online, and they got to know my personality first, the first date would go smoothly.

Unfortunately, through a combination of hormones and immaturity, I learned to perfect this system into one where I could convince nearly any girl at all – from the shy bookworm to the bubbly cheerleader – to become fascinated enough with my persona that they would go on a date with me.

He can become as funny as Eddie Murphy high on speed, while in reality he might be about as humorous as a liver transplant.

Hot to spot him: Every joke he makes is really funny. In 2012, the Huffington Post reported on a survey conducted by the makers of a mobile pet app, who found that certain breeds of dogs attract the opposite gender more than others. Walk a puppy across a college campus, and you’ll see what I mean. Well, any guy who can express his love for a puppy or a child becomes insanely attractive to most women (especially women dreaming about starting a family).

He never misses an opportunity to show off his wit, but his responses are rarely quick. John Grogan, the author of “…it’s all about the dog – and what that tells women: A man who can love, and be loved by, a dog is a man they can trust, a man with good odds of being decent and sincere and in touch with the soft center beneath the hardened shell.” Every male player knows that the only way to grow the tree of desire in your heart is to plant a seed and water it often.

Now, over twenty years later, I’m going to spill the beans on the tried and true tricks that guys still use online today.

The hope is that my two young daughters will read it some day, and become immune to these antics. All it takes is a witty remark or flirty jesting to make a girl smile and break down any defensive shields around her heart.

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