It was time to have ‘the talk.’ He brought up the subject casually at first, wondering if he could start introducing me as his girlfriend.
I fidgeted and gave him some story about how I didn’t like to use labels and the topic was dropped.
However, it didn’t stay dropped for long and soon it was ALL we would talk about.
I was aloof, I was hard to read, I didn’t get too close, I was present but never available, essentially, I was a guy (in the psychological sense anyway! My ‘guy’ behavior caused the actual guys was seeing to take on the ‘girl role’ and they were always way more into it than I was (this was also due to my aforementioned heartbreak which rendered me numb).
My relationships at that point would go something like this: we would meet, there would be a spark, we’d hang out a few times, after a few weeks I would freak out and feel trapped and suffocated, I would then lose all interest in the relationship and would do whatever I could to sabotage it.
I felt guilty but also kind of alarmed at my inability to feel anything.
Eventually, I softened and started to warm up to the possibility of being in a relationship. He was really cute, really sweet, had a good job, and seemed pretty much perfect for me.
I liked him a lot at first, well a lot in relation to how much I was capable of liking anyone at that point which wasn’t really that much.
I knew he liked me a whole lot more than I liked him, but feeling terrified by the possibility that my heart had turned to stone and that I may never be able to love again, I stayed with it, hoping that the deep feelings he felt for me would eventually be reciprocated on my end.
We had been seeing each other for a little over a month when I sensed that my grace period was over.
A popular question we get for our famous ‘Ask a Guy’ section is: “Why won’t he call me his girlfriend?
” I am not surprised at all, this situation is the worst!