That's what he tell you -- and he probably believes it. He's the guy who says he will call you Monday night and then doesn't. He uses his kids as an excuse not to get into a relationship.
Or so Carrie Bradshaw would have you believe; and she is mostly right.
But for me, and my three best friends, the key word is “want” rather than need.
We all have fulfilling careers, lots of good friends and interesting lives.
Only he doesn't want to change his life or schedule one iota for her.
A conversation with them might go something like, You: "So, how do you like your job? He apologizes and says he will call you that night. A week later, he emails again, saying, "Hey, want to meet up? Finally my friend asked how old his daughter was, and the guy replied, "20"!
You can really only get away with this if you're George Clooney. You can tell them right off the bat though, because even on the first phone call they'll nastily correct you about weird stuff or start an argument about the most innocuous of topics. I thought we were trying to get to know each other personally. " You explain that he never called, so why is he asking? He had to do this for his daughter, that for his daughter.
Trust me, if he's gotten to 40 without having ever been married (for more than a few days) or in a relationship over 5 years, he is never going to be in one. But there is no way that a guy goes decades of dating without finding one woman worth sticking with for a decent length of time unless he just doesn't want to. I don't know if it's that guys this age have seen a lot of relationship disappointment that has made them bitter and angry, or if their bitter/angry vibe is what makes women run from them to the point where they are still single at 40, but these guys abound. A week later, he emails you, "Hey, what are you up to? True story: One friend was dating this guy who kept using kid excuses not to see her.
By the time you get into your 40s, if you have the misfortune to find yourself in the dating pool, let me just tell you: It's a shit show. If they were any good, they would be in relationships or married already. This is the 40-something guy who has totally adjusted to living alone.
It's like being thrown in a serial killer's basement well. Let's face it, there is some truth to the statement "All the good ones are taken." That goes triple for guys in their 40s. This is the guy who will say something early on like, "I have tennis on Wednesday, squash on Thursday, I'm camping all weekend, I need to spend Monday and Tuesday wriitng my novel, I walk my dog from 7 p.m.
(This could go for women too I suppose, but I date men.) Of course, you can always date younger, but that's a whole other list!
Anyway, here are 5 types of single guys you meet after 40.