As parents, we want what’s best for our children and we want to shield them from pain but unfortunately the simple act of the divorce can take a tremendous toll on our child’s well-being.However, fortunately, there are certain things you can do, and be aware of as a parent, to minimize these negative experiences and help your child move through this time in both your lives in a healthy and positive way.
In recent years, the rates of divorce have been increasing rapidly.
Studies have estimated that between 40 and 50 percent of all first marriages end in divorce and that number only increases with multiple marriages.
Going through divorce is hard on any individual but the stress rises when there are children involved.
Divorce can cause significant pain to any child and unfortunately research has shown that as adults, children of divorce have double the risk of divorcing in their own marriages.
We also tend to overestimate our kids emotional capabilities.
Children (and even many teens) simply lack the psychological defenses adults have developed.
They take things in and they don’t have the maturity to process these feelings in a healthy way. Don't lean on your kids for emotional support Of course going through a divorce is difficult and emotionally draining but kids need to feel someone is holding it together. We wouldn’t hesitate to marshal every resource if our child were being bullied or attacked in some way.
Additionally, we asked parents themselves what they would suggest is a definite "don’t" for any parent of divorce.
Through this, and through our own experiences helping children of divorce through my program , we’ve compiled a list of the Top Ten Don’ts for any parent going through a divorce: 1.
Don't bad mouth or say anything negative about your ex to or in front of your child As a parent going through a divorce, you may (understandably) feel your spouse has betrayed, hurt or lied to you.
You are also in the midst of separating emotionally as well as physically from what was once a thriving relationship with someone you loved. However, when you do it in a way that insults and belittles your ex, the children may actually take it personally. Imagine the strong feelings an adult in the midst of divorce feels and magnify it when we talk about children.