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A bad date helps us to enjoy a good one, a good relationship gets us ready for a great one, a painful or arduous experience tests our composure, flexibility and resilience.

Just as you respond to things based on what’s going on in your life and in your head, so do other people. Additionally, credentials are just paper—a job, a degree, or a “pedigree,” so to speak, is only one small part of a person, it is not they are. Unless you: a) have endless time on your hands, b) like spending it running in circuitous motion, or, more likely, c) enjoy learning lessons the hard way, listen to your intuition. If something tells you it’s not right, it’s probably not.

Slow your roll, dial it back about 1,000 notches and stop reading into every teeny tiny little everything. Sadly, there is no sarcasm font, and emoticons will only get you so far in nonverbal response.

Don’t take anything personally, nothing others do is because of you. However, misrepresentations happen, and often, especially via electronic communication.

I decided to write the ending to a chapter of my life, the beginning of the end, as it were. That being said, be ready to see them; stay open and choose your concessions carefully.

I wanted to start the next (possibly painful) adventure in the little journey of my life I like to call “my current reality.” As much as I didn’t want to go there again (or, let’s be honest, to don something other than yoga pants), it was time. There is a difference between a compromise and settling, a one. This means that if your messaging pattern goes from phone blowing up to you staring at it, nonstop, checking to make sure it’s working, you are pretty much done there, sweetheart.

Having spent a good year getting reacquainted with myself and my charming set of idiosyncrasies, I recognized the occasion calling for me to stop avoiding male attention and to start practicing the art of social bullshitting again. If it comes let it come, if it stays let it stay, if it goes, well, let it go. If he responds intermittently to you, then yeah, you’re not the only girl in his contact list. Taken from the mouths of our wise elders, “Don’t make someone a priority who treats you like an option.” Seriously.

Be grateful for the opportunities provided, in whatever form they come.

) advice and stories, and in honor of my sisters and brothers fighting the good fight, here are my notes from the trenches. If it’s not, then it’s time to move on to something better. Stop inviting the Ghost of Christmas Past to dinner with you, nobody likes a third wheel.

This shouldn’t be difficult, it should be easy to be the best version of yourself around people with whom you spend time. There is a time and place for viewing the skeletons in your closet and unpacking your baggage. Your past has shaped who you are, it has shifted your paradigm and your perspective, but it is neither your present nor your future.

If you feel compelled to present yourself as something other than who you truly are, to have interests that you don’t really have, to know things you don’t really know then you are in trouble, my dear. Be willing to grow and learn and try new things—but label them clearly as such. Don’t spend your time trying to make something work that you know isn’t going to; things that are meant to be aren’t usually that complicated (well, unless you make them that way, in which case, please re-read #2).

You are who you are and that’s the end of the story sister. A degree does not equate intelligence, nor does the lack of one indicate the opposite. Know the difference between simply being uneasy because you are getting out of your comfort zone and what is legitimately no bueno para ti.

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  1. Keep Reading You have been dating that certain someone, but they haven’t meet your co-workers.

  2. “I’m incredibly fortunate, I’ve had great opportunities to study with the highest level of teachers and musicians.” Working as a freelance opera singer with a management representation in both the U. and Europe, Appleby is auditioning (and booking) projects slated as far out as 2015 and beyond.

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