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(Host Intro) Let's meet contestant #1 He's a schitzophrenic serial killer clown Who says women love his sexy smile. Tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stay.

Grab your titties, and stretch em down past your waist Let go, and watch em both spring up in your face I'd sing love songs to ya, the best I can Get ya naked and hit it like a caveman Then we'd go through the beach and walk in the sand I'd throw a little sand in your face and say I'm just playin As you spit it all out, I'll fuck your back Grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!!!

(Host) Well it sounds like contestant #2 is just overflowing with sensetivity Sharon, It's a tough choice so far, Sharon, let's have your last question And see which one is gonna win the right to your next date (Sharon) Ok, if we were at a dance club, And you both noticed me at the same time, Tell me, how would you each get my attention And what would your pick up lines be? Ok, first, I'd slide up to the bar And tell you that I can't believe how fuckin fat you are! I'd order you a drink, and stir it with my dick And then to get your attention in a crowded place, I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face!

I'd tell ya that I like the way you make your titties shake, And if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake. Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yeah that'll get her!

(Host) Now let's meet contestant #2, He's a psychopathic derranged crackhead freak Who works in the Dark Carnival. First of all, I could never love you You sound like a richy bitch, yo fuck you!

But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care, By takin all these other motha fuckers outta here!

I'd go through your phonebook and whack em all And find contestant #1 and break his fuckin jaw!

Anyone who looked at ya, would have to pay I'd be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day!

Your dad would probably start trippin and get me pissed I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips!

It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother I pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother I'm standing staring at your sister, I'll tell you this You know for only 13 she got some big tits!

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