Seeing him in person, there was one thought on my mind: I’d been practicing for this moment since puberty.
At age 12, I started investigating the world of sex online like a naughty Nancy Drew, desperately trying to solve the mystery of the male sexual psyche — and, given that I now write about sex for a living, I guess I’ve never stopped.
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It took ordering a shot of whiskey and a PBR — twice — before I could even begin to imagine talking to this man, let alone sleeping with him.
Even still, my strategy was that of a grade-schooler — a tipsy one: I asked my friend to tell him that I liked him and then ran and hid at the bar. “I hear you’re a fan of my work,” he said — and suddenly I was starring in my own personal porno, bad script and all.
Unlike the cocky man he plays on-screen, he seemed stunned by my interest.
“I don’t run into female fans all that often — or ever.” His voice was much higher than expected.
I was at a neighborhood bar when in walked a man that I’d slept with before — virtually speaking. I grabbed my friend’s arm and whispered, “My favorite male porn star just walked in the door.” She looked at me dumbfounded: “You have a male porn star?
” OK, so the competition isn’t steep and, yes, I’m one of those mythic women who actually like porn (but for the record, we make up an estimated one-third of visits to adult sites).When I first clicked across this man — with his smoldering eyes, strong nose and athletic body — it allowed me to forget for a moment that porn is largely made by and for men.He’s a rare male performer who is charismatic, young and handsome — everything the infamous Ron Jeremy is not.I realized I’ve only watched him with the sound off for fear of a roommate overhearing. My face aflame, I stumbled: “Well, um, you know, like, everything?We grabbed a pair of bar stools and he started getting into character. ” He seemed confused, like maybe this was a big practical joke, so I offered, “I like it when a girl,” I started to whisper, “?” Dirty talk doesn’t come naturally to me in the bedroom, let alone in a bar.