After paging his teenage subjects at random times during the day and inquiring about their activities and emotions, Dr.Larson confirmed what parents since Adam and Eve have observed: adolescents are either very happy or very unhappy much more often than adults, especially concerning romance. Larson correlated their more numerous negative responses to what he called ''a certain randomness'' and superficiality in their attachments, which make their relationships less rewarding.
Furman, a professor of psychology at the University of Denver, said adolescents' lack of social skills and emotional control can make relationships difficult.
Yet, he said, romantic relationships can also be significant sources of support that offer teenagers fun and companionship, help them forge mature identities and offer them practice in managing emotions. ''Parents are naturally concerned about their teens' relationships, but they shouldn't want them to just stay home.'' Setting guidelines requires an appreciation of the profound differences between 13- and 19-year-olds.
Among the so-called ''tweens'' of middle school, Dr.
When they fell in love, she was barely into her teens, and he wasn't much older.
Some saw a star-crossed couple who found understanding, joy and maturity in each other's arms.
Others saw impulsive kids whose reckless passion cut them off from family, friends and more appropriate interests, provoked mood swings, delinquent behavior and experimentation with drugs, and ended in tragedy.
Romeo and Juliet's story is centuries old, but these two very different views of adolescent romance live on, often simultaneously, in the minds of bemused parents.
Furman said, the point of a crush ''is mostly to be able to say you have a boy- or girlfriend,'' and to start to know the opposite sex.
Next, he said, boys and girls date in groups -- ''you kiss, then go to the movies'' -- and become more interested in the close companionship sought by older teenagers.
Teenagers' growing capacity for positive romantic relationships has been traced by Dr.
Reed Larson, a professor of human and community development at the University of Illinois.