In bodice-ripping romance novels, hours of lovemaking sounds wonderful.
In real life, marathon sessions can leave you wondering, Are we done yet?
In fact, surveys show that most of us prefer sex to last less than 15 minutes.
"It also focuses your mind to help you tune out distractions." Even if you are on your pillow-top bed, pretend you’re doing it on a tropical beach.
Communicating while in the act, whether it's nice or naughty talk, allows you to stay focused on each other and reminds you that you still have that spark, Block says.
Five years ago Peggy Orenstein took on the former topic in the best-selling "Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture." Now she is back with "Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape," examining what happens when girls start to understand that “being sexy” is not just a performance but a real experience.
To find out what female adolescent sexuality looks like today, Orenstein traveled around the country interviewing more than 70 young women between the ages of 15 and 20.
In fact, surveys show that most of us prefer sex to last less than 15 minutes. "The novelty of a new setting increases excitement, especially when there’s the risk of getting caught," Block explains.
Makes sense: In a speedy session, not only is there less pressure to have the best sex ever, but the lightning-fast factor can be exhilarating ("I must have you right now! To make a minutes-long romp even more satisfying, try these tricks. "Kissing accelerates the arousal process because it wakes up the nervous system, as well as the endocrine system, which produces all of those lust-fueled hormones," says Los Angeles–based sex coach Patti Britton, Ph D. "It feels primal and animalistic, as though you’re desperate to have each other right there and then," explains Joel Block, Ph D, a psychologist and relationship expert for Can Do Even if there’s no one else around, doing it in an unconventional spot helps create the thrilling sense that someone could walk in at any moment.It also makes a quick encounter feel way more intimate, so don’t fast-forward past foreplay. Five minutes of ho-hum missionary on your pillow-top bed probably won’t knock your socks off. When you’re trying to get in the mood ASAP, your brain can help get the rest of you on board."Fantasizing spurs a physiological sexual response because your body replicates what it’s envisioning in your brain," Britton explains.Over the course of eight chapters — one of which is devoted to LGBTQ teens — Orenstein explains that the only thing simple about girls and sex today is that it is not at all simple.The first chapter is arguably the best in "Girls & Sex." Orenstein writes with empathy, wit and clarity while contextualizing and complicating young, feminine culture today. For example, Orenstein urges us not to write off selfies as narcissist behavior because to do so risks missing out on seeing girls learn how to promote themselves.If parents do want to worry, they should be far more concerned about the selfie’s evil cousin, the sext.