Unlike the rest of us, who might try to make an instant connection with the opposite sex, Germans tend to do things a little different.
A guy walking up to a girl at a bar and saying “hi” would be much too forward.
Instead, German men have a highly sophisticated wooing device: the concentrated look — a gaze which might, but often doesn’t, include a smile.
If this type of flirtation seems too subtle, might I remind you of the guy from last week who asked “hey baby, wanna get lucky? If the man asks the woman out, it’s understood that he’s paying for the date. Instead, they have dinner parties on Friday or Saturday night.
These can be formal sit-down dinners starting with champagne, or a casual last-minute invitation.
When the French go to a dinner party, it’s considered polite to bring a bottle of wine or flowers, but not food as that would embarrass the host.
When two people at a dinner party become interested in each other, they might take a walk and discuss politics or the existential virtues of Camembert cheese.
Later, they may arrange to meet for drinks at a bar, or stroll through a museum where they will say the word oeuvre over and over again until they are asked to leave. Flirting is just as serious in Turkey as it is in Germany, but the method is more direct: If a girl doesn’t know he’s interested, he’s got no shot at her.
Men do not give women flowers at these meetings, as such a gesture would be considered razzle-dazzle, and might indicate that they are dating—which the French do not do. On the first date he will pay, and the next time she will pay. In some Muslim countries, women aren’t allowed to be seen in public with a man who isn’t her husband, but Turkey isn’t like that.
There is a common saying, “if you treat him like a king, he will treat you as a queen.” Dating is fairly straightforward here, and going out for ice cream (not dondurma) is becoming a very popular date idea, as ice cream flavor is an accurate compatibility indicator.
Guys will envision a long lost pet to enhance the forlorn and harrowing sense of melancholy.
If the woman is interested, she will walk up to him and drop her drink on the floor.