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' " my friend texted on a recent Tuesday while I was riding BART. For the past week, I realized, I had been too busy living "The Bachelorette." I'd been juggling guys and dates in a refreshing whirlwind of activity that, until recently, had been entirely foreign since I'd re-entered the singles scene almost a year ago. Census data show there are more single men than single women under 65 (though in San Francisco that doesn't necessarily mean single men who want to meet women).

And according to a Facebook study of its users conducted last fall, San Francisco rates highest among major American cities on the ratio of single men to single women. That's the (ballpark) number of men who have approached me, a single 30-year-old woman, since I moved here almost two years ago.

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The largest free online dating services now have more than three million members, and literally thousands of new members join every day.People have to work hard all day and come home exhausted, this has become their daily routine.Free dating has evolved from online social networking, where you can meet people from all over the world at the click of a mouse.Despite loads of single men, getting a date is a no-man's land. "I'd forgotten what it was like to be flirted with," says Kink and Code blogger Emma Mc Gowan, 27, who noticed it during a recent visit to New York."I can't get over how reflexively men flirt in New York." Forget flirting; it sometimes seems as if guys don't see gals, period. It's easy to blame smartphones for replacing the normalcy of spontaneous face-to-face interaction."I can't sit at a bar in Chicago or New York without a guy striking up a conversation with me, whereas in San Francisco, guys don't even look up from their laptops when I walk into a cafe," says Beth Cook, 34, a local business and life coach. "A lot of people are quick to blame tech, but that's oversimplification," counters Mc Gowan.

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