America is obsessed with the concept of black women’s unloveability.Head over to Google news and type in “black women” and “marriage” and you’ll be hit with a barrage of over-analysis on why no one wants us for marriage, in online dating, anywhere — and this fascination is strange seeing that black women are a mere 6% of the American population.Madame Noire writer Christine Mwaturura came up with the ingenious plan of changing her race on a dating site to see exactly what life is like on the other side.
Last night, many of us tuned in to OWN to watch Bill Duke‘s documentary, which examined colorism and the many ways it affects the lives of darker skinned Black folks in the diaspora, especially women.
I found the film to be riveting, especially during the parts in which young girls discussed how they identified with their skin color.
In one heartbreaking scene, a young girl stated that white equals smart, and dark Black skin equals dumb.
Both men and women have their own standards and ideals when it comes to superficiality and there’s NOTHING wrong with skin color being a part of that for them.
Personally, I think using someone’s skin tone as a metric to evaluate a level of attractiveness is STUPID, but it’s NOT necessarily a sign of PREJUDICE.
Yet, there are many folks in the Black community that would try and have you believe that a man’s attraction to women of a lighter shade is indicative of his disgust for his intrinsic self.
And this is where the dime store psychologists in the Black community start making impassioned, yet ignorant accusations on how Black men are SUPPOSED to date.
As excellently written as on what type of women they would rather date — light skin or dark skin — and their answers, in conjunction with the women’s tales.
Some dudes said they thought light skin women were “better,” dark girls didn’t look clean, and other infuriating bullshit.
And midway into watching these fools embarrassing themselves in front of the camera, I realized why I hated this particular segment so much: Those men were not only being used as wholesale representatives of the Black male ideology on dark skin women, but because they were also being used to blur the lines between PREJUDICE and PREFERENCE.
Having a physical preference when it comes to dating is NOT wrong, nor does it need to be policed by political correctness or ideologies of social fairness.