He’s angry because he thinks that young women are dishonest, self-involved, slutty, manipulative, shallow, controlling, and gold-digging.He’s angry because he thinks that the culture disses all things male.He’s angry because he thinks that marriage these days is a raw deal for men.
"The Spiritual Assembly should always be concerned that the believers in its community are being deepened in their understanding of the Bahá’í concept of marriage, especially the young people, so that the very thought of divorce will be abhorrent to them." "...[T]he provision of guidance on administrative matters such as the laws of engagement, marriage, and divorce falls under the purview of Local and National Spiritual Assemblies; while Bahá’ís who are professional counselors are free to share with the friends extracts from the Bahá’í Writings and to offer advice of a general nature, it is best that they refer the friends in the first instance to their Local Spiritual Assemblies when questions arise about the application of the laws and Teachings of the Faith." “The Lord…hath made woman and man to abide with each other in the closest companionship, and to be even as a single soul.
They are two helpmates, two intimate friends, who should be concerned about the welfare of each other.
If they live thus, they will pass through this world with perfect contentment, bliss, and peace of heart, and become the object of divine grace and favor in the Kingdom of heaven.” “In the context of the society in which your family now lives, a society in which materialism, self-centeredness and failing marriages are all too common, your sons may well feel that it is wise to have a long period of courtship in which the prospective partners spend much time together and become thoroughly acquainted with each other’s character, background and family. [I]n a relationship in which such a decision [to marry] has not been taken and in which the law of chastity is strictly observed, there is no objection, in principle, to a prolonged friendship in which the two individuals entertain the possibility of marrying each other at some time in the future.” "It is not surprising that serious-minded Bahá’í youth growing up in a bewildering moral environment are asking for specific guidance on the matter of proper conduct in friendship between boys and girls, men and women.
called “Child-Man in the Promised Land.” The piece elicited a roaring flood of mailed and blogged responses, mostly from young men who didn’t much care for its title (a reference to Claude Brown’s 1965 novel Manchild in the Promised Land) or its thesis: that too many single young males (SYMs) were lingering in a hormonal limbo between adolescence and adulthood, shunning marriage and children, and whiling away their leisure hours with South Park reruns, marathon sessions of World of Warcraft, and Maxim lists of the ten best movie fart scenes.
It would be easy enough to hold up some of the callow ranting that the piece inspired as proof positive of the child-man’s existence.
But the truth is that my correspondents’ objections gave me pause.Their argument, in effect, was that the SYM is putting off traditional markers of adulthood—one wife, two kids, three bathrooms—not because he’s immature but because he’s angry.I've been in conversations with some Baha'i men, including one recently when I was in D. that share some elements with the frustrations voiced in Hymowitz's article. First, I'm so glad that I am happily married and out of the whole dating scene because I experienced it as something analogous to a decade long sentence in an insane asylum.Second, to paraphrase a former president, "It's the sexism stupid".It seems to me that nine tenths of the difficulties that young, single Baha'is are struggling with is due to our culture not having figured out how men and women can relate in news ways based on gender equality rather than old patterns that no longer fit the needs of a human race advancing from spiritual adolescence to spiritual maturity. Gotta go, but I would love to hear from Baha'is out there who read Hymowitz's piece.