(Our incomes are similar.) But in the event of dissolution of the marriage, I only get a half of the increase in the value of the house. Naomi Dear Naomi, We are sure that you are not imagining that the man you are dating is "cheap." Some people are like that, and they will never change.If the value doesn't increase, I get nothing, even though I'd be paying half toward the mortgage and upkeep of the house. Can you give a general guideline of what works in second marriages so nobody is resentful? Can I expect to get used to this and not feel hurt and lose respect? The question for you is -- is he generous enough to you in other ways to make you feel cherished and cared for?Is he generous with his time, compliments, conversation, and expressions of appreciation?
Dear Rosie & Sherry, I've been dating a man that I like very much.
As our dating progressed it became obvious to me that he is cheap.
He owns real estate and has a very nice income and few expenses.
He refuses to buy me flowers or go to nice restaurants. At the beginning it didn't bother me because I have my own income, but with time I began to resent it and feel hurt.
A generous spirit can be more important than a generous wallet.
If you answer most of these questions in the negative, we urge you to take a closer look at this man and clarify why you are considering marriage.
If it is to avoid being alone, consider how lonely it can be in a marriage with someone who cannot give of himself enough to be an intimate friend.
It makes me feel not valued and not cherished, like I'm not worth enough for him to invest money on me.
If I offer to treat -- like buying tickets to a Broadway show -- he takes me up on it.